Pretty color.
I reach out, entranced.
The thorns prick.
My blood disappears into
the scarlet Bougainvillea blossoms.
I’m not fond of blood.
I slide off
the dizzying height;
past white striations on grey slate
that run southward and meld
with dark cave holes.
Grotesque shaped arms reach
out towards me.
I pick up speed and fly on.
Stop. Ahead.
Where sky
merges with Terra.
“Are you watching?”
She said as she
stirred the gumdrops
into the batter.
Instead of the
promised soar
I lie broken,
my bed a dry creek,
with pillows of brown dust
that billow and settle
into my cracks.
I turn invisible.
Whiffs of orange blossoms
stir the dust, tickle my nose,
and carry me back
to cool spring nights
under the backyard stars
where tiny pebbles in the ground
under the blanket
get on my last nerve.
“Be careful, or you’ll
end up burned,” she
worried.
“I believe in you,”
he smiled.
I was torn.
Caught in the middle.
I couldn’t believe
either of them.
In stops and starts
I ventured out,
flitted and floundered;
afraid to soar.
You’re not promotion
material,
he justified,
ticking off his boxes,
unless you can play
the politics game.
I gripped the ink pen
so tight it bent.
Not willing to
go so far as to
mortally finish
him or me,
I smiled.
A smile that never
reached my eyes.
Open up to the
decay, the
putrid slime
and drink in.
Smile the grin
of the damned
with Bougainvillea red
dripping teeth.
To accept
or not to accept
such an invitation?
I try.
Come on in,
the water’s fine,
they call as they
go down for the
third time.
Why is it not
that simple?
Just finish it.
Just do it.
Some primal urge
to survive wells up,
and drags me back from
the precipice.
Scarred fingers
pull against ragged
crags. Hands reach
out and pull me up.
At last I stand
on the jagged mount,
love healed,
my Bougainvillea bracelet
a scarlet reminder.